I first met Arthur and Fudge AKA Thelma (names changed for privacy reasons) in my capacity as a carer. Arthur had been in hospital for several weeks with a UTI and no one was aware he had a disabled wife at home. Her nickname was Fudge and staff assumed he was referring to his cat, reassuring him that they were sure the neighbours would be feeding her, so not to worry. So he didn’t.
Just before his release from hospital, family came to visit and hospital staff were made aware that Fudge was actually his disabled wife who was confined to home in a wheelchair. Social Services did a home check and care was put in place.
Fudge had been living off milk, bread and jam in the fridge for 6 weeks, as this was all she could reach in the lowest shelf in the fridge. Arthur and Fudge were a lovely couple, full of the character of Norfolk folk.
On Arthur’s birthday I took them out for their favourite meal – fish and chips. A lovely day was had walking along the sea front at Great Yarmouth, reminiscing of times and years gone by. To finish the day for them I decided to do a slight detour, to visit their old home.
They had recently moved, as Fudge had lost her right leg due to an ulcer, leaving her as an amputee requiring a bungalow to meet her living needs. Their previous home had been Arthur’s home since a child – a beautiful thatched cottage in the scenic village of Postwick.
Arthur and Fudge were busy watching all the scenery and discussing memories past when all of a sudden Arthur said, “Eh up Fudge, you remember that?” Fudge giggled. I looked in their direction and they were both staring at a haystack, Fudge’s face tinged pink. I giggled and said, “Arthur, what are you going on about?” Knowing what the reply would be (because he was a cheeky bugger) he went on to say, “That was where we did our courting”.
I then learned that Arthur would place Fudge in the basket on his butchers bike and cycle them down to the haystacks on the outskirts of Postwick. Later that evening we visited another regular couple I cared for – Jack – who had Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Today was not a good day for him.
His wife Winnie commented that he hadn’t spoken a word since breakfast. I completed his care as normal, chatting away and then relayed the story of Arthur and Fudge to put a smile on Winnie’s face. Out of nowhere Jack suddenly said, “trees,” and was grinning. Winnie flushed a true pillar box red and said,” one bloody word all day, and it’s trees! How could you?!”
So I asked Winnie if she needed to tell me something. Giggling she said, “You know those trees up Mill Lane? That’s where we used to do our courting!” Just one of the fond memories of my caring days for those with dementia in the community and one I will always remember!